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Monster Media 1996 #14
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Monster Media No. 14 (April 1996) (Monster Media, Inc.).ISO
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letman04.zip
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TT1028.95
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1995-11-01
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34 lines
TOP TEN GERARD FINNERAN EXCUSES
(Note: Gerard Finneran is a New York businessman who got drunk on a
United Airlines flight from Buenos Aires to New York, climbed up on a food
service cart in first class, pulled down his pants and relieved himself.)
10. MISREAD BROCHURE ABOUT ADVANTAGES OF FIRST CLASS
9. CONFUSED WHEN STEWARD ASKED FOR HEADSET DEPOSIT
8. WENT NUTS AFTER LEARNING THEY WERE OUT OF CHICKEN
ALMONDINE
7. THOUGHT HE HEARD SOMEBODY YELL, "WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!"
AND THAT WAS JUST SOMETHING HE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO
BEFORE HE DIED
6. HOPING TO IMPRESS ALOOF BLOND ENGLISHWOMAN IN 2-D
5. HAD ALREADY USED AIRPHONE TO CALL EVERYONE HE KNEW
4. YOU TRY DRINKING FOR 14 HOURS AND SEE IF YOU CAN TELL THE
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FOOD CART AND A BATHROOM
3. ALL PART OF AN ELABORATE PLAN TO INTIMIDATE THE REAL
KILLERS
2. HIS ASS WOULDN'T FIT IN THE OVERHEAD COMPARTMENT
1. "OH, LIKE YOU'VE NEVER DONE IT"
Letterman, Friday, October 27, 1995
) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. All Rights Reserved